Experience, Strength and Hope

I shouldn’t be here right now. I mean that on the micro and macro levels, but I will focus on the micro for the moment.

I shouldn’t be driving across town to deliver Chinese food during rush hour. There is somewhere else that I should be right now, but I can’t be there because I’m delivering Chinese food.

The restaurant owner’s kid is sitting at a table doing homework. I wonder if I’m a cautionary tale: “Act right, or you’ll be delivering Chinese food in your late 30s.” It probably wouldn’t help matters if they knew that I spent three years in grad school, though sometimes I want to tell people that.

I know better. I should be here, because I agreed to be here. I am here because it is the life that I chose, and in all honesty it’s not so bad.

Life will be what it’s going to be. The 11th step. The Sonofabitch Prayer. “God, grant me the serenity…”

Be the man that you couldn’t be a year ago.

The delivery goes to a hotel room near my house. The customer is alone and on crutches. We banter for a moment about how cold it is, and I leave her alone with her Chinese food and whatever is on TV.

And I feel like kind of a jerk.

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