I had a strange moment today. It was something we all know mentally, but not intellectually: I realized that aside from family and friends, no one really cares about me. The whole world isn’t paying attention to me. My whole life, I’ve been selfishly thinking that I’m important to everyone, as though they’re not running around with their own bit of crazy.
I then went outside to have a cigarette, and there was a bee eating a flower. I suddenly understood that the bee was eating the flower because it tasted good; it wasn’t some cosmically predetermined thing.
It was the sort of freeing moment that I rarely experience. I need to remember it.